& my world will be coloured.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

sometimes.. i really wonder.. where does all those happiness went. hais.

cousin just came back from honeymoon at bali. bought us a shirt. ok lah. nice. i mean, very nice. haha. (: thanks, eh. (:
and then.. while i was walking back home.. penny for my thoughts:

i can see everyone's love. i mean.. love as in.. the care and affection towards the person whom they are close to. put aside family members. they are different. but i saw my aunt just now, after 3 whole days of not meeting her. i miss her, like totally. i mean.. all of her children are all married.. her last son just got married. and now, things began to settle down. i saw my niece and nephew.. hah. everyone is being loved. its not that im out of love, or.. lacking of love from ppl. no. but seeing ppl falling in love, or being simply happy.. makes me....... happy. yeah.

after so much i've been through with him all this while, and to be exact, 21 months.. i dunno wad else can i give. i mean.. i duno whether this is the love that im talking and dreaming abt. yes, its too early and too young to talk abt it. but.. teenage nowadays are alrd growing up faster than wad adults can think. i duno who i am now. i dunno what's wrong. again, putting aside family, i think i have a great bunch of frends who are willing to share their happiness with me. but how long can that last? i need to find a soft place where my happiness can be kept as safe as poossible. when i met him, i thought his heart was the best place. however, it turned out to be something different.

looking back at the things i've done, i think i can come to a point of agreement, that i am totally lost. trap within myself. not too deep yet, but simply, trapped. i've been through a lot of things and therefore, i can evaluate wads seems to be right, and what is wrong.

maybe i should let things go. and maybe, its my nature, to see other ppl's happiness as my happiness too. maybe, without him, things will be back to normal.

while im walking back home. i thought abt it awhile. what's becoming of my life with him? how much longer can we keep this love alive? im sure things will be fine, for the few days ahead. im sure. without him, i'll be happy. without him, i can do the things i love. and maybe without him... i could find my happiness, once again. maybe. (:

Fif ♥ 11:41 PM